LIZARD PIE

Well. I don’t remember if I mentioned this before, but I’m giving myself an easy time on the vegan thing. To wit, I allow myself one mess-up per day. More and more, I’ve been finding myself actually USING that loophole…

When I first began eatin’ vegan again, maybe a month and a half ago, it was smooth sailing for me. I put down dairy and eggs one day and never looked back. It wasn’t a problem at all, because I rarely eat eggs or drink milk, and my school cooks vegan options for every meal, and I was sitting at a WHOLE TABLE of vegans and vegetarians who provided stimulating conversation and oodles of motivation. Most importantly, I had LOTS of vegan food stocked away in my room! Whenever the vegan option sucked, I just ran back to my dorm and pigged out.

Unfortunately, good times were to come to an end. I was forced to switch tables and lost my primary source of motivation. I also began intensive teching for the dance showcase, an endeavor fraught with FREE PIZZA EVERYWHERE. I’ve always been a little bit of a glutton (hard to believe since I only just recovered from being underweight, but it’s true!), so I had a really hard time saying no to pizza, especially since it was, well, PIZZA. I mean, I’m the girl who once took out almost the entirety of a “monster” sized rectangular slab of a cheese pizza over the course of two or three measly hours! Maybe you’re a pizza-eatin’ champ, but I’m an amateur, so that’s a lot to ME! Anyway, I digress. Let’s just say that all offers of pizza were accepted. After my last heaping slice, I finally said, “Enough is enough! It’s time to be vegan.” But while I’d been eating the pizza, the dining hall staff was PLOTTING MY DEMISE.

Okay, so maybe not that dramatic. And I can’t fault the staff; they’re amazing and do a SUPERB job of feeding us all. But, okay, guys, can I PLEASE have more than a single SPOONFUL of the vegetarian option at a time? Going up for seconds, and then thirds, and then finally fifths gets more and more awkward each time I do it. Dining hall staff refuse to reuse dishes, so you accumulate a higher and higher stack of bowls and plates. I understand that you guys are trying to cut down on waste by only giving an amount everyone should be able to eat, but just think of all the energy that’s being wasted! And what of my empty, empty stomach? It’s really becoming a nightmare to eat veg at this school. Even worse, vegan options are notoriously awful. I find myself putting tabasco sauce on everything, and although I can handle spice like a demon, I can’t stand tabasco at all! The most upsetting thing I’ve found is that recently, at walk-through meals (buffet line), sometimes a vegan option other than the plain pasta offered at every meal SIMPLY DOES NOT EXIST. I find myself eating pasta with tomato sauce for days in a row. I love pasta, but it’s absolutely sickening.

And the worst of it is that I’ve run outta the food stockpiled in my room, so I have no other option.

I guess I should be happy that I’m even EATING. I guess I should be happy that I have SOME sort of an opportunity to eat vegan. But seriously, this is becoming a major hassle, especially in comparison to my earlier complication-free vegan stint. I was committed two months ago when I first started eating vegan, but I can’t honestly say that I’m as committed now. I find myself ingesting non-vegan bread or non-vegan potato dishes with such frequency that I don’t even feel comfortable calling myself a vegan anymore. All I can say is that I try.